WITLESS PROTECTION PROGRAM

Let's get one thing straight. In certain areas Philip is remarkably smart...especially regarding anything related to sports, or movies, or card games. But in other areas he's very naive...very susceptible to being taken advantage of. Thus the title of today's blog entry should not be misinterpreted as disparaging or insensitive...but rather an honest evaluation of a young man's struggle with reality and the daily concern of parents who will stop at nothing to keep him safe in an often very predatory society. (okay...okay...it was also a feeble attempt at humour)

Here's a quote from a psychological assessment we received regarding Philip when he was 15:

"In terms of general attitude, effort and behaviour, Philip's teacher sees him as usually very cooperative and eager to please. He is described as well liked by his peers in his special education class. On the other hand, Philip has difficulty with appropriate social behaviour when he is integrated into regular classes. In the regular class environment, he appears to be impulsive, very impressionable and easily led...is inclined to be silly and immature. In that setting he is vulnerable and in need of protection."

For 30 years Diane and I have been in 'protection mode' regarding Philip. For example:

1) No 'bouncy-bouncy' as an infant because his neck muscles were too weak to hold up his head.

2) No care-free social activities due to his 5 year Barfman status.

3) As he got older, no solo trips to the corner store for fear the underage delinquents frequenting that fine establishment (tsk, tsk) would take advantage of him and relieve him of his 'treat' money.

4) At high school we couldn't send him with his expensive shoes, jackets, back-packs, etc., because the bullies on his bus would/did convince him to give them up.

5) Something simple like mowing the lawn was out of the question. If he dropped the wheels into the flowerbed, he wouldn't hesitate to reach under with the blades engaged to free the mower ( think of it...how on earth would he hold his pencils?)

6) First time he took his electric shaver ( a Philips, of course), and tried it himself, he shaved off his eyebrows. He manages fine today...but can't let him near my Gillette razor.

7) Had to watch him carefully with the young 4, 5 and 6 year old neighbour kids...he was already 5 foot 10 - 180 pounds - and playing with great enthusiasm. To Philip 'hide and seek' was a contact sport!

8) And currently, each night we have to check on him after he falls asleep to remove that ever present pencil from his 'death grip' for fear he might stab himself.

...and the list goes on!

Diane and I were often accused of being over protective...keeping the reins too tight...clipping his wings. Perhaps so, but Philip was OUR son...we knew him...his weaknesses...his naivety...his impulsive nature. There was, and still is, no way we could ever let up our guard.

Our greatest concern now is..."what does the future hold for The Scorekeeper?" We always joked that retirement would be 3 rustic rocking chairs...gliding peacefully into the golden sunset of a most meaningful and memorable life. We think we're well on our way!

BEARLY NOTICED!

Continuing the theme of 'protection', let me put things into perspective. In Ontario, the threats to Philip's safety were numerous, yet easily managed...identify...insulate...isolate. In Newfoundland, he was subjected to 'kitchen parties', 'down-home newfie music', and the sweet serendipitous sounds of the Atlantic splashing serenely upon the lonely, beckoning shores of Ochre Pit Cove. (in other words...no threats!...notice the notebooks in Philip's hand WHILE fishing!)

But here in northern British Columbia, we (and by 'we' I mean Diane) live in constant fear of moose on the highway and bears in the yard. Once you get passed the initial shock of living in the 'wild kingdom', (aka, Kitimat), life can be and is very pleasant. Terms such as 'moose watch' and 'bear aware' are part of the accepted verbal fabric of this community. "Please pass the butter"..."more potatoes, please"..."there was a bear on the driveway this morning"...all phrases spoken with relative calm and civility in the circles we travel!

But familiarity and awareness are no excuses for ignorance when confronted by a bear in his search for food...especially at this time of the year as they forage about the neighbourhoods 'bulking up' for winter. Philip learned the 'bear facts' soon after we arrived here in Kitimat. He was walking home from the mall one afternoon and saw, on the sidewalk just up ahead, a large, brown, 4-legged mass lumbering towards him (no, it wasn't nanny!). Not acquainted with the looming threat, he assumed it to be a large dog and simply brushed by it with the same courteous greeting..."how you doing, buddy?"...one would give a human passerby. When he got home and told us what had just transpired, 'we' (and by 'we' I mean Diane) questioned him with such ferocity that I didn't know who was the greater threat...mom or the bear. His description led us to conclude that he had indeed encountered a bear and the next day this was confirmed when Diane and I, walking along the same stretch of sidewalk, met the beast heading straight for us. Fortunately he had other plans...he had detected garbage in the back of the neighbour's pickup...leapt up and into the truck...and settled in to enjoy his buffet.

Needless to say, we quickly, and quietly, made our way to the house, just a few hundred feet away. A few days later the local newspaper displayed a picture of that bear in the back of the truck - someone with a camera had also witnessed the scene. Of course, now, from the safety and comfort of our living room, we were quick to brag long and loud of our heroic encounter...never once letting on that we had been frightened to death!

Philip...and his parents...are now quite 'bear aware'!

( by the way, we've plenty of room for those of you who might wish to come for a visit...hehehe!)

Diane's quite brave from the safety of the truck!