...influences that helped shape The Scorekeeper

DIANE

How do you put into words the extraordinary extent to which Diane, Philip's mother, influenced, shaped, and managed, his life? It won't be easy...but let's give it a shot!

The Cost of Real Love is No Charge!

My little boy came into the kitchen this evening while I was fixing supper,

And he handed me a piece of paper he'd been writing on;

And after wiping my hands on my apron, I read it...

And this is what it said:

For mowing the yard, five dollars

For making my bed this week, one dollar,

And for going to the store, fifty cents

And for playing with little brother while you were shopping, twenty-five cents.

Taking out the trash, one dollar,

Getting a good report card, five dollars;

And for raking the yard, two dollars...

Total owed - fourteen seventy five!

Well, I looked at him standing there so expectantly,

And a thousand memories flooded through my mind;

So I picked up the pencil - turned the page over

And this is what I wrote.

For the nine months I carried you,

Growing inside of me...no charge;

For the nights I sat up with you,

Doctored you, prayed for you ...no charge.

For the time and the tears,

And the cost through the years...there's no charge;

When you add it all up,

The full cost of my love is...no charge!

For the nights filled with dread,

And the worries ahead...no charge;

For the toys, food and clothes,

And for wiping your nose...there's no charge,

When you add it all up,

The full cost of my love is...no charge!

Well, when he finished reading

He had great big old tears in his eyes,

And he looked up at me and said,

Momma - I sure do love you.

Then he took the pencil,

And in great big letters he wrote...'Paid in Full'...

For when you add it all up,

The cost of real love is...no charge!

( One of Diane's favourite country songs by Tammy Wynette )

Diane is an amazing woman. Unlike Philip, who travels a different road, Diane travels many roads - lives in a very complex and complicated ( yet peaceful ) world. She grew up fast in life and manured...I mean matured...quite well, in spite of my inane, unorthodox behaviour! ( she tolerates nonsense with great dignity and grace ) As a teenager she was denied the 'traditional' home setting...started her hairdressing career at 17 ...and lived alone from that time. Thank God I was there to rescue her, to extricate her from the evil grasp of a world gone mad...to plant her feet on solid ground...to redeem her innocence (or did I remove it?)...to restore her resolve to go on...to provide her with hope...happiness...a lovely home...( a little melodramatic?...over the top?...ya think??)

Where was I?...oh yeah...Diane...that woman who's been hanging around with me for the past 44 years...

Through thick and thin (she used to be really thin...I've got to stop saying these things out loud!) Diane's been there for her family. When Philip was diagnosed 'mentally challenged' due to 'severe birth trauma', Diane, knowing the tough road ahead, rolled up her sleeves and dug in for the long haul. She took charge of the situation...she cared for him...nurtured him...cried for him...prayed for him...protected him.

She devoted her life to Philip! (of course, when Julie and Johnny came along, they received just as much of her love and devotion...care and attention - only under less stressful terms).

Diane sacrificed her career and chose, wisely, to stay at home...where...as she put it..."I belong." She read, studied and learned everything she could about Philip's condition...psychology, behavioural intervention, early childhood education, and medicine, became her obsessions (while I was reading Ludlum...she was studying Freud). Philip's doctors often referred to her as "Dr. Thiessen", and always wanted to hear her analysis of her son's progress...or regression...first. They had come to realize that she was well-versed and more than capable of accurately diagnosing the situation. At one point the 'profession' put Philip on Ritalin. That didn't last long...Dr. Thiessen took him off! He had become reclusive, withdrawn, unhappy, lethargic...not at all the energetic, happy-go-lucky, Philip we were used to. Sure, the teachers loved it...but it definitely was not the way to go - back then.( now today?...where's the Ritalin when you need it!).

Diane's unique combination of 'street smarts', intuition, and an uncanny ability to 'retain and recall', have served her and Philip well over the years (unfortunately I haven't fared that well...she retains and recalls 'everything!').

Philip thoroughly enjoyed school...and why not...it was pencil heaven!

During his school years, Diane became an ardent advocate for Philip's rights. She insisted he be assigned 'special education' status...and when he physically outgrew one particular class setting, she fought to have monies transferred from one school board to another so he could attend a more 'occupationally-driven high school outside of our catchment area. Consequently, he spent 2 productive years at General Brock in Burlington. His occupation?...duh!!...scorekeeper!

For a little gal, Diane flexed some big muscle back then!

Philip graduated (or as he puts it...'gradulated') with great pride!

Throughout his teenage years, Diane 'managed' Philip's condition with great skill... protected him at all costs (tore a strip off one of the neighbour's boys who took it upon himself to introduce Philip to web-porn...the kid would have fared better against a pitbull!)...provided him with a safe and secure home environment (our place was always the centre of entertainment - birthday parties, pool parties, Halloween extravaganzas, etc. -there was no end to the positive stimulation Philip received)...and persevered in her determination to get his medicinal dosages right. Trial and error...laughter and tears...phone calls and frustration...but she did it...and today Philip is the better for it.

When I retired in 2003, Philip was already 24...and clearly in need of a fresh start. The neighbourhood had changed...his young friends had grown up and moved on...leaving Philip behind. New neighbours meant new friends...but they were too young...too fragile. So when the opportunity presented itself, Diane suggested we move...to the islands...GREAT!! (how was I to know she meant Newfoundland?)

Fishing proved to be a great stress reliever for Diane..in Newfoundland and here in Kitimat

...but guess who always tagged along!!

In the two years we were in Newfoundland, we saw an incredible change in Philip. Subjected only to adults...he grew up...and matured over night. He began talking like an adult...looking like an adult...thinking like an adult. It was while in Newfoundland that he first insisted we stop referring to him as our 'boy'..."I'm a man now, you know!".

Yes he is!

Philip can't get enough of his mom!

...and he's the 'man' he is today due to the tremendous influence of one very special lady! Sure I helped...but in no way to the extent that Diane got involved. She has raised (reared?) 3 wonderful children...she's their pride and joy...she's the light of my life... the wind beneath my wings...she's my partner...SHE'S MY WIFE!