INFLUENCES

You...had a big influence...on me!

We are all influenced in life by things (profound, isn't it?)...our environment, events, the choices we make...the people we meet. They shake us...they shape us! We are who we are today due to the impact these 'things' have had, and continue to have, in defining us.

Many 'things' influenced Philip over the past 30 years. I'd like to begin a series of 'influences' that have had a definite impact on his life...and give you some insights into the wonderful journey Diane and I have traveled with our son. His list of influential friends is endless....you're about to meet some of them.

It is my joy in life to find, at every turning of the road;

The strong arms of a comrade kind, to help me onward with my load.

And since I have no gold to give, then love alone must make amends;

My only prayer while I live - God make me worthy of my friends!

---Frank Dempster Sherman

MEET SHIRLEY WOODS

Philip and Shirley in Brigus, Newfoundland

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself, and curse my fate:

Wishing we like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,

With that I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee - and then my state,

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth, sings hymns at Heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings,

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

--William Shakespeare

If Philip knew who Shakespeare was, and could grasp the meaning and depth of this sonnet, I'm pretty sure he would embrace its rich significance...its inspirational magnitude...and dedicate it to his 'bestest' friend...Shirley Woods. He honestly doesn't know how fortunate he is to have this enduring and endearing friendship. He takes it for granted...and why not...she's always been there...and always will. He knows it..."now what's for supper?"

Where to begin...

After we moved to Hamilton in '84, we began attending the Baptist Church in the neighbourhood. It was here that we met the Woods family and one of their children, at age 14, was prime sitter material. (Diane and I were always 'out', for as PR Director with Fortinos Supermarkets we attended far too many functions...and were forever in need of sitters). Shirley and our three kids immediately connected and for 5 years she became an integral part of our lives. She watched them, played with them, taught them, swam with them, moved in with them (when Diane and I went on company 'business' trips), laughed with them and cried with them. To Julie and Johnny she was their sitter...to Philip, she had become his older sister...his beloved Shirley...his 'bestest' friend!

After high school Shirley entered university where she spent 5 years earning her Masters in social work. During those years she worked with 'special needs' kids who became her clients, and Philip became one of them. After graduation, Shirley began her career in professional social services and gave up her clients...all except one...Philip. And why would she? He was her 'special' buddy...her Monopoly partner...her 'pain in the neck!'. For the next 5 years, week in and week out, Shirley and Philip went bowling, to the movies, to the casino, shopping, camping...she took him to his first sports bar! (By the way...in 30 years Philip has never even had a sip of alcohol...he was informed early on that he could not mix beer with his meds...and so to this day his standard reply to anyone offering him a 'drink' is..."can't, I take pills you know!"). When Shirley bought and renovated her own house, Philip had his own bedroom. They were a force to be reckoned with!

Then in 2004 we moved to Newfoundland. Philip was devastated...he was leaving behind his good friend 'Whitie' (real name...Matthew, a boy in our court he'd grown up with), and his bestest friend forever, Shirley.

How would he survive? BY PHONING THEM EVERY WEEK...WITHOUT FAIL...FOR 2 YEARS! (thank goodness for long distance plans) The calls were always from the privacy of his room...often 30 minutes long...at other times, just 30 seconds. Didn't matter...he'd had his fix...he was set for another week!

Philip and Shirley totally engrossed in a game of Monopoly

Then in the summer of 2005 Shirley informed us that she was Newfoundland bound. She'd had enough of his phone calls...she was coming to see him! But it had to be a secret. Two months of planning, scheming, conniving and outright lying finally culminated in the best surprise visit ever! We drove to St. John's - a two hour trip - under the ruse of meeting a lady from mom's work and he had to come along. He argued...kicked and stomped...but eventually gave in (we promised him lunch at East Side Mario's).

When Shirley came down the stairs at the airport and Philip saw her, he was completely stunned. He stood there frozen...mouth agape...eyes darting everywhere..brain cells crashing into each other (okay...I made that up)...it was by far the world's best reunion! They hugged...we laughed...they hugged...we cried...they hugged...we beamed! Picked up her luggage - which was packed with 'stuff' for Philip - and headed for home (never went to East Side Mario's...he'd forgotten).

Philip and Shirley at the airport

Shirley spent 10 days with us in Ochre Pit Cove. She cooked his favourite meals...baked his favourite cookies...took him for walks on the shore...and played endless hours of Crazy 8s and Monopoly (did I say she spent 10 days with us?...I meant Philip!). And when she left, it was a non-event. He'd had his fix...his world was completely intact!

Saying goodbye!

The phone calls continued...the birthday and Christmas presents were predictable...and Philip and Shirley were good. Then we moved to BC...and, yes, it's true...absence does make the heart grow fonder...for he continues to call her...talk about her...reminisce about their fun times together...and he still considers her his sister. We consider her a saint!

He saw Shirley in June...4 months ago. He might not see her again for a few years. Doesn't matter. She's always been there...she always will!

Love you Shirley!